Untitled

I forgot how good it feels to blog.
I also forgot when was the first time I started blogging, but back then the reason why I wanted to blog is because I talk to much I just need to let everything out.

I used to be writing literally everything that I'm thinking about, may it sounds stupid at its best, but at least I enjoy the process of telling my stories.

I think before I write, and I reread before I publish. A few times to make myself believe I don't look stupid.

What I didn't realized is I look sad, and gloomy.

Pathetic, but relieving.
At least I can be honest to myself.

Other than that, well. I was trying to talk about myself more and how I'm doing right now but I can't seem to make up the right sentences to describe things that are going on right now. But to put it simply, I'm a mess.

Everything. And I mean literally everything, is a mess right now.
These days whenever I'm alone in my room and about to sleep, I will always think of how much I've left some nice and good people in my life, wasted so many opportunities along the way.
I barely have anyone right now and it doesn't feel good at all.

I'm alone.
Basically.

I don't know what else to say.
I just wish things can go better.
Because I'm almost at my limit.

When your best wasn't good enough

When your best wasn't good enough

 

I'm sick of trying my hardest but get nothing, even only an appreciation, in return.

I'm sick of getting treated like this.

Sometimes relented and apologized it was better than explaining things to people who do not want to understand

Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.

 

Distance

You're still the one who always be there,When I wake up with the sadness or having day that feels like madness,

You're still the one who always be there when my days turn to grey and having the weight of the world in my shoulder at the end of the day,

You're still the one who always be there when I feel like I'm walking with eyes as blind or as a man without a lantern in a coal mine,

You're still the one who gives me sunshine while I got my rainclouds and you're still the one who gives me hope when I got my doubts.

After months by months and even now you're so far away, i still don't know what would I do without you.

Choose

Life is all about to choose. Life is an option and we have to choose it whether it's good or good, bad or bad, or maybe good or bad. And in every option that we choose, there's always a risk behind it. Like it or not, we must take the risk.

From the option that we choose and from the risk that we take, there must be something worth fighting for. So, don't ever feel regret when you choose your own way. Something's good waiting at the end and when it's not good, then it's not the end.

Well, then I have something that worth fighting for. I choose it and I'll take the risk.

The Adventure

I can’t believe it’s been so long since I have written a blog......I’ve been so busy with my job & adventure...

So....what can I tell you about my adventure?

Life is all bout experience the thing , I love to try new thing, grateful more that I got chance to visit Central Borneo. 

Here’s some pictures my 1st visit Central Borneo :

With Mr. Langgeng 

Here’s another pictures :

Strike....!!!!

Mancing Mania With Mr. Dadan

The Weapon

Adventure is the simple chance of reinventing ourselves at new places where we are nobody but a stranger.

Adventure  is discovering the part of yourself that you never knew existed before.

Adventure  is a test of your physical and emotional tolerance.

Panic area...

It was really fun, yet the weather totally so hot, Wish to be back again to have more challenge in other adventure.

That’s it for now, I’ll update you all soon

Special Thanks to :

• Allah SWT
• Mr. Supriyadi
• Mr. Langgeng P
• Mr. Tatang B
• Mr. Gondronk
• Mr. Samsul
• Mr. Bambang
• Mr. Made
• Mr. Mang Atak
• Mr. Mul
• Mr. Dadan
• 'n other people site...

What if it never gets better?

So what to say? My life seems too complicated lately,


It's not that I don't appreciate people who are trying to make me happy, but it's just I find it hard to be happy when I'm not happy at that time.

I guess in my mind, things would never change but too bad the only constant thing in this world is change. So when things end when you’re not ready for them too has to be the worst possible feeling ever. Everything will just be a memory. The worst part of all was I knew the end was coming all along but never prepared myself for it. I just continued to let myself fall. 

Now I’ve lost my self. I look in the mirror, and I have no idea who I’m staring at anymore. I’ve changed a lot and I don’t like it at all, but nothing feels the same anymore. I don’t care about anything anymore, and it doesn’t even scare, or worry me.

Walk alone...

My night will be so dark from now on. I have no more light to lead me the way to walk. Even, I can’t see me myself. I am a foolish guy who thinks that I could hold the light up. Light that I think will guide me has gone. I can keep no longer. It’s all about time.

Someday it will disappear from, nothing so called eternity in this world. Nothing left, only me myself alone waiting for another light which never comes. I used to believe, someday there is a light which comes to brighten my way. Nevertheless, I realize now, it is all bullshit. Light will not comes by itself. I myself ought to seek my own light.

I only have a friend; a best friend who never leave me, so called loneliness. Wherever, whenever I am, it always steps side.

I am walking in the dark, nowhere to go.

I have eyes, but see nothing.
I have ears, but listen nothing.
I have tongue, but say no word.
I have nose, but smell nothing.
I have heart, still it feels nothing.


And I'm the only one and I walk alone

Life teaches me, when you are thinking of holding a light, in that second you have lost it.

However, it’s nothing to me. My life is still going on; no matter I have light or not.

I should step forward though I have to crawl or grab to walk.

I should stand on the step of my own.